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(Contains: sexual themes)

October, 2008


She had a childish, nervous and detestable attitude.  Yet, she was stunning in every single aspect.  Is it wrong to have the damning urge to deflower an associate instructor in college?

“You shouldn’t plagiarize!” she exclaims.  “You will get caught!” She proceeds to giggle nervously.


Dark blonde hair, lightening as it slightly rested upon her shoulders.  Cute glasses and cute jewelry.  She looked adorable.  Maroon blouse, white-laced bra.  The size of her breasts were suspect, likely enhanced by that bra — that white-laced bra.  The instructor was ripe for the picking.  What a wondrously evil idea.


Ah, but class has ended.  Now I was assigned chains, chains that would be my homework damning me for the weekend, and making me publicly loathe her. Yet, I secretly loved her.  I wanted her.  I knew she wanted me.


How is the rest of my life?  I was hungry and needed a cigarette.  I only possessed for the latter.  They were cloves, at least.  Could they ever suffice for food?  I secretly loathed food.  Being a vegan turned out to be awful.  I feel as though I can’t eat anything, for fear that it may be laced with some sort of animal product.


I stepped outside finally.  All those God damned stairs.  They were notoriously worse going up, of course.  Am I a man of contradictions?  I loathe big business, but I love cigarettes.  I don’t like the image that smokers are given.  Plus, I’ve been infatuated with too many girls who didn’t smoke.  Such innocence, I suppose.  Fuck them for living the plain life of being a straightedge.


I fumbled my back pockets for my cigarettes.  They would be crushed.  The next search was for my lighter.  The taste of an unlit clove cigarette dangling in my mouth has gained appreciation in my life.  The taste was so sweet, yet so toxic, like that AI.  May her lips could taste like cloves.  And once it’s lit, it’s somehow different.


My other back pocket began to vibrate.  It was my phone.  Damn that thing. Another thing I loathed: materialism.  Yet I am guilty of owning that phone, an iPod and a MacBook.  At least I can admit to hypocrisy.


“Hi Cindi,” I tried to say in a pleasant voice.  It was my aunt. I legitimately loved her.  I just wasn’t in desire of a phone call.  Am I ever?

“Hi Lee!  I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“Oh no, just got out of class.  What’s up?”
“Wayne and I are going home on Saturday and we wanted to know if you wanted a ride up with us.”


Did I want to go home this weekend?  Bah.  I hadn’t been down here for even a month.  That would also mean no cigarettes for a few days.  I wouldn’t be able to wear a lot of the clothes that I’ve worn this week, because they reek of cigarette smoke, and probably of weed as well.  I wouldn’t be able to smoke!  Honestly, what a horrid concept.  They might as well cut off my dick.  It would be horribly similar at this point.


“Oh, no I don’t think I need to go home this weekend.  I’ll probably have a lot of homework to do as well,” I said.  I’ve never been efficient in getting anything done.


“Thanks though, I appreciate it,” I finished.
“Oh not a problem!  Wayne and I will be going up nearly every weekend if you ever need it.  How are classes so far?”


“Oh they’re good,” I lied.  Already I was regretting the classes that I had signed up for.  They’re all a joke.


For example, I wish mathematics interested me.  Then I wouldn’t have to fuck with so many English and writing credits.  I’d also appear to be more intelligent.  I’ll laugh hysterically when someone besides an employer labels me as intelligent.  Besides, you’re never really intelligent in the eyes of an employer when they take advantage of you.  Math was never my forte.


“Finite math is particularly interesting.” I continued.  I’d mastered lying by the time I was fifteen.  It came in handy to hide my previous smoking habits.
On the first day, my finite professor greeted the class by saying, “Good ‘math’ternoon!”  Jesus H. Christ.  I wanted to drop the class that instant.  The class was boring, and I reduced myself to posting in online music forums instead of paying attention.  So I might be a nerd.  A vegan and cigarette-smoking nerd.  How may I ever be stereotyped otherwise?


“…Lee?” said Cindi, still on the phone.  Shit.  The nicotine was affecting me, surely.  I lost control of myself for a second, appreciating the crackling of the cloves.  There was something so notoriously sweet about that.


“Oh, sorry Cindi.  I’m just trying to get the lock off my bike,” I said.
“Well I should get going.  Take care!” Click.  The line goes dead.  Jesus, she can talk a lot.  I look at the phone and the call only lasted three minutes and forty-two seconds.  So maybe my perception of time was just off this evening.  I decided to ride back to my dorm.


What else is planned for this evening?  Tonight is locally known as “Thirsty Thursday”.  I had recently acquired a bottle of cheap disgusting bourbon.  The previous week, I had befriended a guy named David.  He lived in town and knew of several places to hang out.  In other words, he was a “townie”.  I filled up a canteen bottle with that bourbon and we trekked across town and found ourselves at a small show held inside an art gallery.  David somehow convinced the bartender to sell us two beers, but I had drank a lot already.  We had a fun time but I walked outside and threw up, and David and I walked home.


I thought about the AI again.  She was so gorgeous.  Suddenly I could conceive taking full advantage of her, reaping the benefits of her lush body.  She’s wild for me and she’s frisky.  Her hair is a total mess.  She’s thrown her glasses to the floor and she begins to undress.  Her figure was stunning.  Freckles all over her body.  Precious and supple breasts, with the perfect pink-colored nipples. She’s slim, but she has that sexually attractive bulge in her belly.  And she even shaves!  Wasn’t expecting that from an English AI.  Her pussy was just as petite as her breasts were.  Her pussy creased so perfectly and symmetrically, hiding all that a man could ever desire.  It was slightly pink in color.  Maybe irritation from shaving?  Or is it natural?


I’m a spectator, in a chair, gazing.  She walks over to me, climbs on me so that her forelegs are resting upon my forelegs and proceeds to kiss me.  She had bright red lipstick on.  It was so sticky, transferring from her lips to mine.  She tasted of cherry.  I placed both of my hands on her breasts and caressed them.  I was still dressed, but she was able to find my infinitely hardening cock.  I felt flushed.  She unzipped my pants, and—


I was standing outside of my dorm room, unlocking the door.  The AI isn’t on top of me.  I’m not enjoying every second of this like I wish I was.  I was just outside of my dorm.  So no of this happened.  Shit.  Fucking shit.  I was suddenly feeling very sexually deprived.  I heard loud music coming in from my dorm.  That meant the roommate was in.  I walked in.


“Hey Thomas,” I said, without enthusiasm.


Thomas was an average guy.  He wasn’t especially tall but he had a decent athletic build.  He had short and brown curly hair.


“Hey,” he replies.  It’s not like we hated each other, or I would hope.  Besides having a very narrow and lame taste in top 40 rock music, he was just too boring for my tastes.  He was also a “townie” and only went out with his girlfriend, Evette.  I knew Thomas would never fuck Evette until they married.  Thomas carried himself like that.  Seems like a waste, too.  Evette had her own place and they could easily fuck.  It would be grand for them.  I can’t say I ever had a thing for Evette though.  She was just as boring as Thomas.


I guess it would be the lounge for me this evening, because I certainly didn’t want to listen to Thomas’ music any longer than I had to.  The lounge contained a sole occupant: Stewart.  He was a good guy.  He was slender and athletic with blonde hair – he played soccer.


“Yo, Stewart.”
“Hey Lee, what are you up to?”
“I’m supposed to do homework, but I’d rather not,” I said.
“Heh, yeah.  I’m going to smoke in half an hour.  Wanna come?”

Smoke some weed?  When I should be doing homework?   Why not?


“Alright, I’ll take you up on that,” I finally said.  My homework session wasn’t very productive.  I probably had ADHD.  The main culprit was being distracted by Facebook.  It always amazed me how such a popular website could have such a stupid name.  It sounds even worse when you hear it on the news.  Still, it was a half-way decent way to keep in touch with friends, mainly two friends from high school that went to college up north, Adam and Adrian. 


Stewart popped his head back in the door and said he was going outside.  I packed my belongings and grabbed my cigarettes and lighter and headed back outside.

 
It was getting colder in late October but the night was still young for us.  I found Stewart sitting at the smoker’s lounge.  The “lounge” was just a round metal picnic table that was covered in ash, while the ground was littered with cigarette butts.  Stewart was talking with his roommate Mike.  Mike was a music student who loved to play blues and jazz music.  He was an especially talented guitar player.

 
Stewart was packing a bowl, listening to Mike talk about music.  He was playing a blues concert for school in the next week.  I wish we had some music to listen to as the three of us sat outside.

“You finish your homework?” asked Stewart.
“Nah,” I replied.  I just wasn’t feeling it tonight.  Isolating myself to do homework didn’t seem very sociable.  I wanted to converse with others.  


I lost track of time afterwards.  It was probably 11:30 when I got out there.  I checked my watch again and it was 2:30.  Shit!  I had to meet with my AI tomorrow at 11 to discuss a paper that was due the following week.  Why I couldn’t I meet her for that other thing, such as taking her virginity?

I bade farewell to Stewart and Mike and retired to bed.  I had trouble waking up the next morning.  Even though I hid my alarm clock in my closet, I slept right through and woke up at 10:30.  I was hungry, but wouldn’t have time to get any breakfast.  Shit.  I probably didn’t have time to shower either.  I got fresh pants – the type of pants that are tight but not too tight, yet give a bit of bulge in the crotch.

I had no idea where this damn building was, where I was supposed to meet my AI.  It was cool outside at least, and the breeze felt nice.  Too many damn people were walking and frequently got in my way.  Take the damn bus.
I hoped I found the right building.  It was on a part of campus that I’ve never visited.  I suddenly began to think about the AI.  I can’t believe I get to meet with her.  Alone.  How wondrously terrible.


I was five minutes late, and of course there were stairs.  I found the AI, at her desk, reading a book.

“Hey,” I simply said.
“Oh, hey Lee,” she said, putting down her book.  “I guess none of the others are showing up.”
“What others?”
“The other students in your group.”  I forgot about this. We were alone.  What could that equate to? 

She’s so cute.  Today she’s wearing all black.  Black blouse, black pants.  Yet, that same damned white-laced bra.  It was perfect.

“You look nice,” I said casually.
“Oh, thanks,” said the AI.  She smiled and stood up.


I found myself once again as a spectator, sitting in that same chair.
“You make class worth going to every day,” I said.  “A pretty instructor can make all the difference in the world.  I was hoping you could review a few things with me though.”
“Is that so?” she asked.  I must not have been paying attention because her black blouse was partially undone, and her soft shoulders became exposed.
“I guess it’s just you and me then,” she said.  She unbuckled her belt and her pants slid down her thighs.  She proceeded to undress before me and pretty soon a nude associate instructor stood before me.  She was stunning and I was tumescent.


She climbed on top of me and began to kiss me.  She tasted of cherry.  I placed both of my hands on her breasts and caressed.  She grabbed for my cock and found it, ready and eager.  She sat down, her body around mine.  We embraced and fucked wildly.


The door to her office was wide open, but the building was deserted.  No one would ever know.   I was ready to come.  I didn’t want to though.  Not yet.  I wanted to appreciate the moment of taking full advantage of my time with the AI that I loathed.  I was about to come.

“Oh, I want to come right inside of you,” I said out loud.


“Uh, what?” she asks.  I was sitting in the same chair, while she was reading over my essay.  Both of us are still clothed, though I have a massive erection.  None of that actually happened, yet again.  “Uh, Lee, did you really just say that you wanted to come inside of me?”


Oh shit, I thought.  Think, Lee!  Think!
“I said I need to use the restroom, if that’s alright with you.”


“Oh.  Uh, yeah that’s fine.  Hurry back.”


I went to the bathroom and finished off there.  A man can certainly dream.

 

AI: Tedious, Loathsome, Cute
A story about fantasizing
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Here's an idea for a thread:

Post your favorite music recordings from this year.

Here's what I've enjoyed, so far:

Disappears - Irreal

Krautrock influenced post-punk from Chicago.

Punch Brothers - Phosphorescent Blues

Chris Thile's bluegrass follow-up from Nickel Creek's 2014 album, A Dotted Line.  Not strictly bluegrass, however.

Illoquence & Rythmatical - D​.​E​.​A​.​T​.​H

Great instrumental hip-hop album.  Production is simple and has plenty of room for further development.

Moon Duo - Shadow of the Sun

A nice psychedelic and new-wave influenced album from San Francisco

Airøspace - All Dreams End

Good mixtape from a Washington, D.C. based rapper.  Makes fun and nerdy anime references in his music.

So what have you enjoyed this year so far?

Disappears - Irreal

image


A few years ago I had the chance to see Chicago-based Disappears perform in Bloomington, Ind. at The Bishop.  Steve Shelley was playing drums and he showed such enthusiasm and motivation when playing.  He’s a terrific drummer, integral of Sonic Youth and Disappears’ set that night was fantastic.

Shelley’s time with Disappears was short lived, but the band today continues to experiment and explore new music territory while tipping their hats to notably-influential 70s krautrock and 90s alternative rock bands.  Irreal will be released Jan. 19 on Kranky Records.  These are just a few songs worth listening to:

Loud and expansive percussion rhythms soak up dissonant guitar rhythms and subtle bass melodies in “Interpretation”.  The guitar rhythms are very reminiscent of late 80s and early 90s Sonic Youth as well as early Blonde Redhead.  A nice harmonic melody briefly interrupts the guitar rhythms before they resume.  The lyrics “Anything could happen” can be heard as a louder and noisier guitar plays a slow melody.  The louder guitar melody ends the song almost sounding like the post-metal band Pelican.  Perhaps it’s just a coincidence, but it’s a very fun coincidence nonetheless.

"I_O" again takes influences from early Blonde Redhead, but the vocals sounded quite a bit like that of Jeff Mueller (Rodan, June of 44, Shipping News).  Perhaps it seems like an unusual direction for Disappears to take influence from 90s post-rock and math rock bands, but tipping the hat to such obscure bands will leave a good impression on others.

"Another Thought" features a dark and repetitive rhythm.  The rhythms are repetitive and simplistic in the sense that it allows the music to be layered with other elements to grow in complexity.  It seems quite reminiscent of the Cologne-based krautrock band, Can.  They too, in albums such as 1971’s Tago Mago and 1972’s Ege Bamyasi, would take simplistic rhythms and build upon them to develop complex songs.

Overall, the album is quite minimalistic which seems to pay homage to the band’s krautrock influences.  Irreal rightfully confirms that Disappears are a krautrock-influenced alternative rock band.  The songs are layered and complex with rich and noisy texture.

Perhaps such influences weren’t as obvious in previous Disappears releases, but this is an exciting direction for the band as well as Kranky Records.  This is a very fun album.

image

Those who enjoyed Nickel Creek’s 2014 release A Dotted Line will not be disappointed with Chris Thile’s upcoming album with the Punch Brothers, The Phosphorescent Blues, set for release on Nonesuch Records on Jan. 27.

A few songs that stand out:

"Familiarity" starts with a strong and energetic mandolin melody, but the delayed string instruments that fade out allow Thile to emerge with a sincere and awe-inspiring vocal delivery.  Meanwhile, a marching-like rhythm develops and culminates at 2:48 with a rather enjoyable melody that seems to gradually edge itself down and up the scale.  The rest of the Punch Brothers chime in to create a harmonious vocal delivery as Thile softly sings, "I love you".  The fluttering fiddle is very bright and uplifting.  "Familiarity" is a long song, running almost ten and a half minutes, but it contains so many widely-ranging emotions.  Of all of Chris Thile’s work with Nickel Creek, Punch Brothers as well as his solo work, "Familiarity" ranks as one of his best album-openers.  It’s articulate and dynamic and helps to humanize contemporary folk and bluegrass music.

"Passepied", as composed by Claude Debussy, features grand ascending and descending mandolin melodies accompanied with enamored strings.  It’s wonderful to hear Thile continue to recognize his classical roots, and it’s quite exciting how he and the Punch Brothers can make classical music relevant for 2015.  A live performance of this song can be viewed on Youtube.

"Boll Weevil" seems to return to some of Thile’s roots with Nickel Creek, such as "Smoothie Song" from This Side and “When in Rome” from Why Should the Fire Die?  Bright and vibrant melodies are accompanied by strings playing some delightful double stops.

The entire album is gold, and it’s hard to be disappointed by Thile.  Even though influences of bluegrass, folk and classical music are apparent in The Phosphorescent Blues, the album remains truly unique, making it difficult to categorize the album into a single category.  An early 2015 favorite, by far.

carlsimmons.tumblr.com/post/10…

So here’s a quick list of my ten favorite music recordings from this year.

10) Run The Jewels - Run The Jewels 2

image

The sophomore release by El-P and Killer Mike enjoys a sense of lyrical clarity as it weaves in and out of darker and noisier rhythms.  Songs like Oh My Darling Don’t Cry, Blockbuster Night Part 1, Love Again, amongst others, feature El-P, Killer Mike and some high-profile guest appearances by Zack De La Rocha, Gangsta Boo and Travis Barker.

Lyrical delivery in this album is very well-poised.  Paired with smart production, this is a smart hip-hop album.  One of the best from 2014.

9) Jerome and The Psychics - Money is Violence

image

A late addition, but a surprise favorite. With roots in Rio de Janeiro as well as Bloomington, Ind., Money is Violence expands the band’s soul music influences.  Combining lo-fi garage rock with 60s soul influences, Money is Violence makes extensive use of brass instruments and seems to take some notable influences, perhaps from the likes of Sly & The Family Stone as well as the Isley Brothers.  This is a very soulful and groovy album.

8) Death From Above 1979 - The Physical World

image

A decade after the release of You’re a Woman, I’m a Machine, Death From Above 1979 finally follows up with The Physical World.  It partially pays homage to their first album, especially in songs like Crystal Ball, Trainwreck 1979 and Right On, Frankenstein!On the other hand, White is Red seems to deviate away from DFA 1979’s original sound.  The bass melody is still noisy, but enjoyably melodic and serves as an experimental deviation from the rest of the album.  The Physical World obviously recognizes the older repertoire of Sebastien Grainger and Jesse F. Keeler, but that shouldn’t be disappointing.  If anyone was expecting something so drastically different, they probably wouldn’t be listening to DFA 1979.  On the other hand, I’m quite glad they’ve re-united after hiatus.

7) Cult of Youth - Final Days

image

New York-based folk-punk outfit Cult of Youth squeezed in a surprise punk favorite this year.  Experimental folk influences are substantial, but more subtle and very enjoyable hardcore and post-hardcore punk influences pop up throughout the album. Perhaps Ian MacKaye was there in spirit, because influences of his vocals are quite apparent in Final Days.  Songs like Dragon Rouge and Empty Faction reinforce that. God’s Garden almost sounds like John Darnielle’s Mountain Goats, but  with an aggressive punk attitude.  Down the Moon is the best song from Final Days.  Instrumentation begins as any other folk song, but the post-hardcore vocals are irresistible, especially with the line, “The moon is rising!” as soft and hearty brass instruments add harmony.

6) Vince Staples - Hell Can Wait

image

Another fine release from the hip-hop community.  Vince Staples seems to take some very interesting influences from the lyrical delivery of Ishmael Butler (Digable Planets, Shabazz Palaces) with songs such as Fire, Hands Up.  Staples also takes some interesting influences from the likes of Chance the Rapper, with songs such as 65 Hunnid, Screen  Door, Limos and Feelin’ the Love

Feelin’ the Love is a very memorable EP closer.  The rhythm in particular seems to exist as two separate entities that are arranged with such particular sense.  It sounds complicated but it works very succinctly.

Production is noisy and original which adds good texture.  Hip-hop with texture is always appreciated.

5) Lantlôs - Melting Sun

image

The German metal scene made the list this year with Lantlôs’ Melting Sun. Very nostalgic influences of the noisier days of Pelican, Isis and Red Sparowes are apparent in Melting Sun. Interestingly, Lantlôs isn’t an instrumental band and they employ talented vocals that help harmonize noisy stoner and doom metal influences.  Their tone is also quite atmospheric with a prominent ambiance.

Melting Sun is also one of the best album covers I’ve seen in some time now.  Very bright, vibrant colors very accurately reflect the nature of the album.

4) Busman’s Holiday - A Long Goodbye

image

Notable influences from The Unicorns and Grizzly Bear earn Bloomington brothers Lewis and Addison Rogers a spot on the list.  Additionally, as Busman’s Holiday expand their career with Indianapolis-based Joyful Noise Records, they’ve toured quite a bit with other notable Joyful Noise artists. Best of all, they played this year at WARMFest in Indy in Broadripple Park with bands such as Of Montreal, Sebadoh, Half-Japanese and others.  Coming from Indiana, Busman’s Holiday is quite relevant in the alternative music scene, being signed to one of the most relevant independent labels, Joyful Noise.

3) Flying Lotus - You’re Dead!

image

Owning the vinyl of You're Dead! is especially fun to view the bizarre and graphic album art in detail.  Of course, Never Catch Me is one of the most memorable songs from the album.  Kendrick Lamar and Flying Lotus complement each other quite well, and it makes sense why these two would be so well-received by critics and fans.  Turkey Dog Coma seems to return to Steven Ellison’s roots with a quirky but catchy melody and rhythm.  Turtles is another fun song that emphasizes Ellison’s rhythms.  Some brighter and fluffier elements can be heard, but this song is decidedly about the rhythm and it showcases how far along Ellison has come with his production.

2) Ghostface Killah - 36 Seasons

image

Wu-Tang Clan’s A Better Tomorrow was enjoyable, but 36 Seasons blew it out of the water.  Ghostface Killah brought lyrical clarity with his distinctive production, which was very reminiscent of Fishscale.  The guest appearance of AZ on songs such as Here I Go Again, Double Cross and Blood in the Streets complements the production with a succinctness that makes for an excellent hip-hop album.

1) The Antlers - Familiars

image

Atmospheric piano and sentimental horns paired with Peter Silberman’s airy and somber vocals create a heartwarming album.  Songs such as Hotel, Parade and Refuge are undoubtedly sad, but it’s such a great album for anyone who is feeling sad.  Familiars warms the heart and soul and can make a seemingly woeful situation seem a lot more bearable.

All told, 2014 was quite successful and 2015 will undoubtedly be even better.

carlsimmons.tumblr.com/post/10…

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mphtmnslt
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Disappears - Irreal

image


A few years ago I had the chance to see Chicago-based Disappears perform in Bloomington, Ind. at The Bishop.  Steve Shelley was playing drums and he showed such enthusiasm and motivation when playing.  He’s a terrific drummer, integral of Sonic Youth and Disappears’ set that night was fantastic.

Shelley’s time with Disappears was short lived, but the band today continues to experiment and explore new music territory while tipping their hats to notably-influential 70s krautrock and 90s alternative rock bands.  Irreal will be released Jan. 19 on Kranky Records.  These are just a few songs worth listening to:

Loud and expansive percussion rhythms soak up dissonant guitar rhythms and subtle bass melodies in “Interpretation”.  The guitar rhythms are very reminiscent of late 80s and early 90s Sonic Youth as well as early Blonde Redhead.  A nice harmonic melody briefly interrupts the guitar rhythms before they resume.  The lyrics “Anything could happen” can be heard as a louder and noisier guitar plays a slow melody.  The louder guitar melody ends the song almost sounding like the post-metal band Pelican.  Perhaps it’s just a coincidence, but it’s a very fun coincidence nonetheless.

"I_O" again takes influences from early Blonde Redhead, but the vocals sounded quite a bit like that of Jeff Mueller (Rodan, June of 44, Shipping News).  Perhaps it seems like an unusual direction for Disappears to take influence from 90s post-rock and math rock bands, but tipping the hat to such obscure bands will leave a good impression on others.

"Another Thought" features a dark and repetitive rhythm.  The rhythms are repetitive and simplistic in the sense that it allows the music to be layered with other elements to grow in complexity.  It seems quite reminiscent of the Cologne-based krautrock band, Can.  They too, in albums such as 1971’s Tago Mago and 1972’s Ege Bamyasi, would take simplistic rhythms and build upon them to develop complex songs.

Overall, the album is quite minimalistic which seems to pay homage to the band’s krautrock influences.  Irreal rightfully confirms that Disappears are a krautrock-influenced alternative rock band.  The songs are layered and complex with rich and noisy texture.

Perhaps such influences weren’t as obvious in previous Disappears releases, but this is an exciting direction for the band as well as Kranky Records.  This is a very fun album.

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